When a parent’s move starts to look likely, the work usually lands on one son or daughter. You are the one fielding the calls, comparing options, and figuring out how a whole house fits into something smaller, often around a job and a family of your own, and sometimes from another city.
This guide is the order we would work in if it were our own parent in North Vancouver or West Vancouver. It covers what to decide first, which local supports to know about, how to split the work with your siblings, and what to ask anyone you hire.
The short answer: start with where your parent is going, not with the house. Agree inside the family on who leads and who decides, find out which local supports apply, then put the move date, the sale and the clearout of the house in order. Sort the house against the new floor plan, and hand the heavy work to people who do it every week.
1. Start with where your parent is going
The destination decides almost everything else: how much furniture survives, how fast things have to happen, and who sets the dates. Most North Shore moves fall into one of four shapes.
- A smaller home or condo, staying local. Your parent sets the pace, and the strata rules at the new building set the moving-day details.
- An independent living or retirement residence. The residence decides the suite size, what is supplied, and when moves are allowed.
- Assisted living or long-term care. Timelines here can be very short. We have written a separate guide on moving a parent into assisted living, because that situation runs on its own rules.
- Moving away to be near family. The North Shore house still needs clearing and preparing for sale, often after your parent has already left.
Until you know which of these you are planning for, any sorting you do is guesswork. Once you know, ask for a floor plan of the new place, or measure it yourself, and keep it somewhere everyone can see it.
2. Agree inside the family before the big conversation
Families rarely fall out over the move itself. They fall out over who decided what, and when. A short, honest family conversation before anything is booked saves a lot of that.
- Name one lead. One person keeps the calendar, holds the contact list and is the person companies call. It does not have to be the sibling who lives closest.
- Know who has authority. If your parent has a power of attorney or a representation agreement in place, everyone should know who holds it and what it covers. If nothing is in place, that is worth raising with your parent and their lawyer early, while it is a calm topic.
- Talk about money plainly. Whose money pays for the move, the help and any storage, and who approves spending. Write the answer down.
- Give siblings who live away a real job. Researching residences, handling online paperwork or chasing quotes are all useful from a distance. “Keep me posted” is not a job.
Then talk with your parent, and listen more than you plan out loud. Your parent should hear the options from family before they hear them from anyone else.
3. Know the local supports before you need them
Moving companies are only one part of the picture. If health or care needs are behind the move, these public and community services are worth knowing about early. NextPhase is not affiliated with any of them; we list them because families ask us where to start.
- HealthLink BC, 8-1-1. A free provincial line where a navigator can guide you to reliable health information or connect you with a health professional. Details are on the HealthLink BC website.
- Vancouver Coastal Health. The health authority for the North Shore. Its page on how to access home and community care services explains where to begin if your parent may need support at home or an assessment for care.
- North Shore Community Resources, Seniors One Stop. Helps people find their way through the resources available to them and stay connected to social, recreational and volunteer activities. See North Shore Community Resources.
4. Put the three dates in order: the move, the sale and the clearout
Most downsizing moves are really three projects with three different deadlines. Write all three on one calendar before anyone books anything.
- The move-in date. Often fixed by a residence, a strata building or a possession date. Everything else works back from it.
- The sale, or the end of the lease. If the family home is being sold, the completion date decides how long you have to empty it.
- The clearout of what is left. Donations, consignment, family pickups and disposal. This is the one with the most flexibility, so do not let it hold up the move.
A few North Shore details are worth checking at the start rather than the week before:
- Many strata buildings set moving hours and require the service elevator or loading area to be booked, sometimes with a deposit. Ask the building manager for the rules in writing.
- Hillside streets, steep driveways and long staircases change how a moving day runs. Whoever is planning the move should see the access at both ends.
- If anything is crossing the Lions Gate or Ironworkers Memorial bridges, allow for traffic in the timeline.
If you would rather someone else built the timeline, this is what our move planning service covers.
5. Split the work: what only family can do, and what to hand off
A good rule: keep the decisions in the family and hand off the labour. Conversations about what to keep stay kinder when you are not also exhausted from lifting.
Keep these in the family
- Deciding, with your parent, what comes to the new place.
- Documents, jewellery, keys, medications and anything irreplaceable. One family member takes charge of these personally.
- Deciding who in the family receives which items.
A fair way to share heirlooms between siblings
- Let your parent give away anything they want to give first, in their own words.
- Photograph the remaining pieces and share the photos, so siblings who live away can take part.
- Take turns choosing, one item each per round, in an order everyone agrees on.
- Write down who is taking what, and when it will be collected, before moving day.
Hand these off
Sorting room by room, packing, donation runs, consignment, recycling and the final empty-out of the house are all work that can be delegated. Our page on sorting, donating and clearing the house explains how we handle that part.
6. If you are organizing from out of town
Plenty of families run a parent’s move from Calgary, Toronto or further. You do not need to be in North Vancouver for all of it. If you can travel, choose the moments that matter most:
- The first walk-through, when the plan and the floor plan are agreed.
- The sentimental rooms, such as photos, letters and the things your parent most wants to talk about.
- The first day or two in the new place, rather than the heavy-lifting days.
For everything else, keep one shared folder with the floor plan, the keep list, the building rules and every contact, and ask whoever you hire exactly how and how often they will report back to you. If your parent lives in North Vancouver, see our page on senior moving help in North Vancouver. If they live across the Capilano, we have a page on a parent’s move in West Vancouver.
7. Questions to ask any company before you hire
Whoever you choose, these questions are fair to ask, and a good company will be glad to answer them. Please ask us the same ones.
- Will someone see the home before giving a price? The Canadian Association of Movers advises staying away from anyone who will not inspect the job first or will only quote over the phone (source).
- Is the estimate in writing, and what would change it? Ask what is included, what is not, and how extra work is approved.
- What insurance do you carry, and what happens if something is damaged? The Canadian Association of Movers explains that the basic liability a mover must provide often covers only a small amount per pound, and that increased coverage can be arranged for an extra charge (source).
- Are you registered with WorkSafeBC? WorkSafeBC issues clearance letters that confirm a business is registered and paying its premiums (source).
- Who will actually be in the house? Ask whether the same person is there from the first visit to the last box.
- Can you put me in touch with a family you have helped in a similar situation?
Questions sons and daughters ask us
When should we start helping a parent downsize?
As soon as a move looks likely, and ideally before a health scare makes the decision for everyone. Starting early keeps your parent’s choices open and lets the sorting happen at their pace instead of a residence’s.
My parent is not ready to talk about moving. Is there anything I can do now?
Yes. You can learn what the options look like, find out what a suite or condo would actually hold, and get the family on the same page. None of that commits your parent to anything, and it usually makes the eventual conversation calmer.
How do we split family heirlooms without an argument?
Let your parent give away what they want to first. Then share photos of what is left, take turns choosing, and write down who is taking what before moving day. Disagreements are much easier to settle at a kitchen table than in a hallway full of boxes.
Do I need to be in North Vancouver for the move?
Not for all of it. Plan to be present for the first walk-through, the sentimental rooms and your parent’s first day in the new home if you can.
What does it cost to hire help with downsizing and moving?
It depends on the size of the home, how much has to be sorted, the access at both ends, and which services you need. A reputable company should be able to explain its estimate in writing after seeing the home.
Talking it through
NextPhase Moving & Downsizing has helped North Shore families with senior moves and downsizing since 2008. If a parent’s move is on the horizon and you are not sure where to begin, book a complimentary in-home consultation or call (604) 209-4241.
